Happy Frakking New Year!

Happy New Year to all of those who read my rantings.

It was a lot of fun on New Year's Eve... until I decided to go from drunk to shit faced in all of 10 minutes... and spent the rest of the night praying to the porcelain gods.

I spent the weekend back home in the 518, and got to do a lot of thinking about my situations.

I realized that where I am is 100% a result of how little I've done to make my own luck. I'm single because I am not being the man I know deep down I am. I made some resolutions, I hope that I can finally make 2009 (remember my 9 thing) will be the year that my ass gets in gear towards where I want to be in life.

I'll keep the more personal ones to myself, but there are a couple highlights that I've been making small progress towards.

1) Quit Smoking - I've gone down to Ultra Lights, and am down to about 1/2 pack a day again... I hope to be quit by February.

2) Get in Shape - I'm trying, it's hard. I did some pushups and situps the other night, and it hurt. Forgot to last night, but now I need to find a place to actually work out and spend some time not only alone (I need to be comfortable by myself to be truly comfortable around others) but get my body into a good place, I'm smaller due to the changes in my diet (I'm also trying to increase my water intake as opposed to soda) but I'm not there yet, here's hoping I can show the dedication I've never shown before.

3) Get out there- This one may be the most important. I've gone over the last year from being a very social person, to being about as anti-social as I've ever been. I need to get over all my fears and maybe go out to a bar by myself to have fun with random people. Hell, maybe this way I'll finally get on a couple dates, who knows.

4) Stop being needy- Here's my relationship killer. I'm a needy guy, I have low self esteem when it comes to interpersonal relationships, and it comes out with me being desperate and needy. I need to clip that shit, I'm a great guy, I need to stop being so dependant on sex and woman's approval for my esteem. As the great Katt Williams says, it's your SELF esteem, how can I fuck up your esteem for yourself. On point baby.

Outside of that, I hope everyone has a great year, and this is one of the best years on recent record.

Have a good one my faithful clan, post again soon.